i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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