Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
