I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
