the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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