fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
