Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
