im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
