Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
