Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
