There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i will never coherently bang her
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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