I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
