It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Dicks are not precious.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
