there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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