Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
