So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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