At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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