Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
