I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
