My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
