it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
