i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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