Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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