Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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