I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
