are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
