My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
