I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Success! We fucked roommates!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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