i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Never underestimate the power of titties
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
