when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
