Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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