do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
