Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
What a dumb baby whore.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
