I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
