help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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