do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
