You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
