I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
