Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
