I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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