my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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