I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Small penises have feelings too.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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