so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
