i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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