Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
