I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
