Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
