Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
