I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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