she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
