yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
