She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i believe in u and ur pee
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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