Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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