I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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